If you’re ready to learn what you can do next time you find yourself with “Mr. Oh So Wrong,” read on.

Scenario 1: You’re on a date at an elegant restaurant with an absolutely gorgeous man. You may be thinking, how could this possibly be bad?

Then he opens his mouth and begins to talk and talk and talk, not about something deeply profound or even relatively interesting, but about himself. He doesn’t ask about you once or show interest in anything other than what makes him so great.

Every time he takes a breath you try to jump in, but it’s no use, he just talks right over you. You get so tired of hearing his voice you just want to yell, “SHUT UP!” But of course being the polite lady that you are, you smile and nod, enabling this conceited motormouth to continue rambling.

The Plan: Since you know by now that he’s got a great job, you can allow yourself to take advantage of this information. How about enjoying anything on the menu? Next, order a few cocktails. This will not only allow you to tolerate him, but you might find some humor in the situation as well. Eventually this nightmare will end and you will never have to speak to this date, or should I say hear him speak, again.

Scenario 2: You’re with a guy with whom you seem to connect and feel comfortable almost instantly. He does and says all the right things to make you believe that he is such a sweet guy. Then you notice him glance at a woman passing by. Okay, no big deal, right?

Throughout the night you see him checking out other women. Even when the two of you are in the middle of what seems to be a great conversation, his eyes just continue to wander.

The Plan: At some point, excuse yourself to go outside for some fresh air. On your way there, find a sexy guy to flirt with. Have fun, exchange numbers, but don’t stay too long.

Then return to your date and occasionally make eye contact with your new friend. If you’re date mentions your behavior, just innocently tell him that you thought that it was okay to admire those of the opposite sex since he seemed to do it so well. If this doesn’t wake him up at least you’ve got another option for later.

Scenario 3: You are out on a date with a guy who clearly has no kind of home training. He acts as if he were raised by wild monkeys. You think to yourself, is he serious? Does he really burp as loudly as humanly possible, shovel food into his mouth while talking, and suck and pick at his teeth when he’s done with his meal? You’ve got to be kidding me; this has to be some sort of prank.

As these questions run through your mind you feel as if everyone is watching and wondering what’s wrong with you. The feeling of embarrassment makes you blush and want to sink under the table.

The Plan: This situation may call for some seriously drastic measures. Very discreetly pull out your cell phone and text your friend 911. Use this code because it’s quick and easy. Once your girl sees the message she will know that you need to be called immediately.

As soon as you get the call act as if your friend is going through some sort of crisis and needs you by her side right now. Tell your date that you’re sorry you can’t enjoy his lovely company anymore and that he has definitely made it a memorable night.

I know there are many more nightmare date scenarios, but this gives you a basic idea of what you can do with almost any bad date.